My Trip to Mexico
One time I went to Mexico. It was a blast! I met people there. I went horseback riding. I saw a box holding an armadillo. I went to a waterfall. I tried to catch a frog with one leg. I couldn’t catch it. It was fun in Mexico.
原版评语：Many details are included in this writing, and a personal tone emerges. The piece has a clear beginning, middle, and ending.